


When I Fall Down (It's Just Me And The Ground)

by BlackLotus2002



Series: A Family Matter [4]
Category: Magnum P.I. (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dark Past, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Juliet Higgins Backstory, Juliet Higgins Whump, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Original Character(s), Past Relationship(s), Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:53:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28022727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackLotus2002/pseuds/BlackLotus2002
Summary: Juliet tells Thomas the truth.Or: Juliet breaks her own heart and Thomas' in the process.Or: Albert Higgins is a vindictive son of puta.
Relationships: Juliet Higgins/Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV
Series: A Family Matter [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2037034
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	When I Fall Down (It's Just Me And The Ground)

**I.**

She might as well be deceiving herself believing she could hide such a secret from Magnum longer than a few days. They were at a stage in their partnership in which it was an, increasingly difficult, task to lie to each other. She would be lying by stating that, finding an accurate match for her skills was not a relief; it pushed her to be honest as much as she could. Lying was second nature, an addiction harder to break than any drug; it was the worst of all and Juliet was hooked up on it with close to no chance of rehabilitation. Magnum kept her in check, unbeknown to it, of course.

“ _HIGGY!_ ” 

There was that too. Apollo and Zeus were very perceptive pets; they have always been aware of her emotions. It was baffling and humbling, really, how in sync with each other they were; and it was to be expected, at the end of the day, she did rescue and trained them since they were puppies.

In earnest, the ‘hounding Magnum thing’ was rather amusing, but lately was turning odd.

“Quite frankly, Magnum; this is getting ridiculous.” The lads were barking with fervour at his door while he just stared at them from inside; if looks could kill. She snapped her fingers, “Apollo, Zeus, to me.”

And for the first time in three years, the lads ignored a direct command. “Lads, _Komm Jetzt Zu mir.”_

The summon was supposed to be definitive. The lads were supposed to leave aside whatever they were doing or barking at, and come to her at once. 

“ _Higgins?_ ” Magnum’s urgency made her heart beat faster, and for the first time, she was scared of losing control over them.

“Zeus, Apollo; _dewch ataf yn awr!”_

At the clear distress and the command in welsh, Apollo and Zeus finally lowered their heads and came back to their master; whining and afraid of the consequences. 

Thomas opened the door slowly, he almost tiptoeing out of the house, still engaged in a staring contest with the lads. “That was something.”

“I’m so sorry, Thomas. I don’t know what’s happening to them.” 

Hands up, ready to bolt, replied. “I might have a theory.”

His eyes flickered towards her, a flash of recognition passed. She was now the one ready to bolt. “I don’t want to hear your rants on the lads, Magnum.” Scolded. “And you two,” the lads were now in high alert, ears pointing up and bodies tense. “Are coming with me, we’re having a little chat.”

**II.**

“I know, I know,” Juliet cooed softly while petting Zeus, Apollo’s head rested in her lap; he was crying softly. “It’s balls up lying to him, but it’s for his protection.” Zeus licked her hand; his little sad whines made her heartache. “Father will take them away from me if he learns what they mean to me, and I rather die than let him hurt them.”

She was still curled in the sofa of the studio with the lads when Magnum showed with a huge grin and waving his phone. She could swear he was almost skipping.

“Yes, Mrs Madigan, I’m still here. What if you come down Robin’s Nest let’s say—” Looking at his watch, ten in the morning, it read; with his fingers, he asked, _«One hour? »,_ she nodded affirmatively. “An hour. My partner and I will meet you here.” Silently, nodded and hummed a few times. “One hour it is, give my regards to Mr Madigan then, see you later.”

“Now, Magnum; what is it with this case that has you so excited?” Her tone was sarcastic, but not even her Britishness, as he insisted on calling what it was just her _personality,_ could wither his obvious enthusiasm. 

“Two words; Madigan and Associates.”

“The legal firm?”

“Yes, James Madigan and a few of his friends want to hire us,” he was positively bouncing.

His child-like excitement would have annoyed her coming from someone else, but this was Thomas, which made it _endearing._ Not that she would admit it.

“Jolly good.”

His shoulders slumped and started _pouting_. “Jolly good? That’s all you’re going to say?”

“What do you want me to say then?”

“I don’t know; _‘holy shit Magnum, have to get it’_ or _‘good boy’_ even.”

She chuckled, he was such dork. “Your accent is horrible,” he kept pouting. “Good job, Thomas. Now, want a treat?” Leaning to the coffee table, she reached for the gummies.

“ _Har_ , _har_.” 

The only left was for him to stick his tongue. Nonetheless, she tossed the red gummy towards him, and with as much grace he could muster, caught and ate the gummy bear.

“Atta boy.”

* * *

The Madigan’s arrived at eleven sharps, and the first impression she got from them was the same she was accustomed from those who frequented her father’s galas: wealthy and luxurious with a pinch (a lot) of entitlement. Kenneth Madigan was one of the most expensive attorneys in the state, and his wife, Fiona Madigan was a socialite with a liking for small dogs; if the pincher staring menacingly at Apollo and Zeus was an indication of anything. 

“Mr Madigan, Mrs Madigan.” For a second, she thought the woman’s reaction would be the same as, virtually every single woman, who crossed Thomas’ path, but it wasn’t, instead; the husband’s eyes jumped from her and then, ate Magnum in a look. _«Interesting, »_ she mused _._

“Mr Magnum, I’ve heard a lot about your—” The man wouldn’t let go of Thomas’ hand, and his eyes were still locked on her partner. The lads and Juliet tilted their head to the side, one out of sheer amusement and the others just plain confused. "Abilities."

Thomas, very polite as always, let go of the man’s hand; he turned to Juliet, she smirked, he _stuck_ _his tongue_ at her. “Now, please take a seat.” 

They took place across them on the desk; Magnum went to stand _behind_ her, a seemingly normal, action. “How can we be of service?” 

Sending looks at each other, the couple was silent in their conversation until Mrs Madigan sighed. “Have you heard of the _Hedone?”_

“You mean the private club?” Magnum inquired, both nodded. Mr Madigan went beet red.

“Precisely.”

The Hedone was not exactly the kind of club one was accustomed too; there were the golf court and the sauna, and people still got charged with preposterous membership fees, but there were… perks, one would call it; they made honour to their name and treated with special requests from their members, the hedonistic kind of requests. Juliet was not prudish, she wasn’t above to enjoy her sexuality openly, spike it a little with bondage and tints of dominance in bed; but this was, of course in the sanctity of her room, in her house, with a partner she trusted fully. She was not going to judge, whatever and whichever swayed other people’s boat, as American would say; it was not her business. In Mr Madigan’s case, however, she could discern, by the looks he was giving Thomas, what swayed that _specific_ boat. Kenneth Madigan was handsome, with a very mature charm, he was perhaps one or two years older than Magnum; lean, expensive taste; probably from a wealthy background and, of course, what it seemed like a repressed desire for his congener. 

“What, then, seems to be the problem with this—” Juliet probably shouldn’t be enjoying so much Magnum’s discomfort, but yet again, this was what made their relationship so interesting, “Establishment.”

“A week ago, we received—” Mrs Madigan reached for a white, non-descriptive envelope from her purse, “this.”

A single SD card was tucked inside. And Juliet knew immediately what was the content of the card.

“Let me guess,” Magnum said, this time with, what Juliet called, a grown-up voice. “there is NSFW material in there, something you perhaps don’t want to go out in the world?” Empathic and sympathetic.

“If that video ever gets out, our lives would be over.” Mr Madigan’s strangled voice told her what she needed to know about. _He was scared._

They nodded. “You said you weren’t the only ones receiving this kind of menaces?” 

“Yes,” Mrs Madigan jumped, “three more couples like us received a similar demand. Eighty thousand or the video gets out.”

“That is a lot of money. And for three more couples, that is three hundred and twenty thousand dollars.”

“I represent them all,” Mr Madigan all but jumped, speaking in a rush, “They said we could offer you whichever price you deemed necessary, as long as you catch them.”

Thomas looked at her with an _‘I told you so’_ look, but she knew him _so well,_ he would never charge an arbitrary price, only the just. “We’ll take the case.”

They relaxed visibly; and at this, Juliet felt for them. The invasion of privacy was something she took seriously, having endured constant violation of her personal affair growing up and well into her adulthood, she, somewhat, could relate to them.

“We are going to have to analyse the videos, which require them to be watched. Do you agree with this?” Looking at each other, Mrs Madigan reached for three more envelopes with the same characteristics than the prior.

“Uh, we will like to ask you to firm an NDA, you know, it’s just—”

“Mr Madigan,” Thomas interrupted, gentleness written in his face, “we will sign whatever you deem necessary to protect your intimacy, you already have been violated enough.”

_«A white knight indeed. »_

Mr Madigan handed a folder from within his briefcase, and for what Juliet could appreciate was a standard NDA contract. So, they signed. 

They stood in the entryway, already bidding farewell when Mrs Madigan stopped in her way to the car. “Ms Higgins, Mr Magnum; I just remembered, all the videos, they are old, from a few years back, I don’t know whether it has relevance, but I thought it was worth mentioning it.”

“It is, Mrs Madigan, it is.”

**III.**

Calling in a favour from her father just a few days after trading her life was not exactly the kind of image she wanted to transmit, but she did have to agree, Albert Higgins was nothing short of diligent, in three hours lapsus, a folder with the credit cards she was, once again warrant to, were in her mail accompanied by another folder and a letter with her grandpapa’s handwriting. Her chest filled with a sense of dread and the hot rage simmering in her blood, which since she was a child, never stopped burning. Foregoing the yellow envelope, forced herself to read the letter, which had attached to it a small card

> _I AM SORRY- AJH_

The handwriting was indeed her grandfather's; and despite owning a few of his heartfelt compositions, the one she was holding felt fundamentally different.

> _My dear Juliet_
> 
> _I wrote you this in hopes my last will is respected. I wish for it because I have so much to tell and little time to do so._
> 
> _Last time I saw you, you were angry, furious, so furious you scared me, my Sun; I fear for you because of this. You have such a pure heart and soul, you, my dear, have a gift: the gift of resilience, of tenacity, of love. You love so much, so deep and so freely, that I hurt for those who had never seen it, who never felt it. I feel for your father and siblings, I feel for your lady aunt, may her soul rest in peace. Any of them never knew you, never tried to, and that makes them idiotic because they failed to recognise your true value._
> 
> _This frightens me. They hurt you, they poisoned you with fury, dark feelings and thoughts. It makes me fear your actions; if they push too hard, too far. I’ve already saw what it did to you once and I don'nt want to be the one who says goodbye first. The day I saw you holding that gun, speaking words no children should, I felt dying, I felt like a failure._
> 
> _I failed as a father and as a grandfather._
> 
> _At the time, I was there to guide and protect you; I gave you something to fight for and you made out of it something much more incredible, something only you could have done._
> 
> _Sooner rather than later, I won’t be there, I won’t be able to protect you, to shelter you from those who harm your soul, and in that case, I want for you to have a way out; I know you don’t run, you fight, it’s in your nature: brave, courageous and hard-working, but for the love of all that is good in this world, I ask for you, this one time, run; as fast and far as you can, save yourself and the girl I love so much. Save your smile, your warm hugs and gentle voice, save your love for music and dancing in the rain; save your hunger for knowledge and adventure, your simplicity, honesty and truthfulness; the memories of your beautiful mother, walking barefoot in the grass and reading Harry Potter by the fire of a heart while drinking warm chocolate milk. Save my Sun, save my little Juliet._
> 
> _I gave you tools to do so, my lovely; I leave as much material things I can, enough for you to live a life without preoccupations. I know you could make wonderful things with it, raise an empire or tear one apart; but I exhort you to live fully: make art, poetry, travel and find love. Live fully and free. Live the life you might have had. Forget about the names, but never forget who you really are._
> 
> _In your way out to live your life and discover the wonders of the world, punch your father in the face for me._
> 
> _With love and sincere regret:_
> 
> _Grandpapa._
> 
>   
>    
> 

Her papa thought of her before dying, he wanted for her to escape; he didn’t hate her or died of pain when she left, she didn’t kill him like they made her believe.

_Freedom_ , that was his inheritance to her; not the money or the properties, he gave her a way out and Albert took it away from her the same way he had taken her life and her mother. _He was the real murderer._

Heartbreak was his speciality.

Her hands trembled, the words in the paper might as well be gibberish for how blurry they were; the kind of constriction making broken breaths expel from her lungs, wrapped her chest with annihilating pressure.

The world was turning and spinning, and not even the chair could stop it. Juliet crawled down to the floor and dragged her heaving body to one of the corners of the room, right by the bookcase, where the glass panes started. Curling into a tight ball, with her knees to her chest and hands wrapped around her calves. She reminisced her grandpapa, the death burdening her the most; the one that, for years, tormented every waking hour and, not even the tight embrace of Richard in the dead of the night, could chase the nightmares away. A few minutes ago, she was _certain_ , her rage fit and subsequent departure _killed_ him, _he told her._

_«He couldn’t handle your abandonment, he begged you and you turned your back on him, »_ Jonathan had said, « _your selfishness and_ _childish behaviour killed grandfather. There’s the freedom you coveted so much, feel free to show yourself out, you always do.”_

He lied to her, _condemned her_ to a lifetime of regret, _made her a murderer_. The bloodlust, the _disregard_ for human life she felt afterward his death, it was all a lie. She told herself _there was no point_ , she already had taken an innocent life, one of the persons she loved the most. Only had him and Cassie left back then, and _she killed him._ She thought he died hating her for walking away, _for giving up_. But it was just _another deceit, another falsehood._

It was when he loved her the _most._

The world was fading away, just like the day _they killed her;_ when a warm and wet sensation put a halt to her descend into madness. _She could feel more than emptiness,_ realize. Small whine, _two_ whimpers; _and now she could hear more than the cries of all the widows and child she left behind._ Baby powder and freshly cut grass, a mixture of both were what could smell, _the smell of blood, ashes and sweat now lingered in the back of her mind_ ; opening her clenched eyes, she found soft, black fur and a wondering snout, _Zeus and Apollo,_ recognised; _and the faces of everyone that perished by her hands, dissipated in a cloud._

The lads snuggled in her, opening her arms making a way for themselves, placing her arms around them, breathing them in.

“I’m okay,” her voice muffled in Apollo’s neck, “I will survive,” Zeus whimpered some more while lying across her lap, ears falling flat on his eyes. “I always do.”

**IV.**

Juliet Higgins was a woman. Magnum discovered the fact after months of believing her a cyborg.

The first impressions of each other weren’t stellar, and he genuinely, for a while, thought Juliet Higgins was just something else, out of this world; and not exactly British. But later, _(after a year and a half),_ he shames himself, Thomas realized Juliet Higgins was a woman, very extraordinaire in her own right, but a woman nonetheless; _beautiful_ , _sophisticated_ , _expensive taste_ , and _wicked smart,_ like a borderline genius. And it sometimes made him query if her behaviour was more acquire from her MI6 days to make her a better agent or if it was the result of years and years of educations in the best schools of London and private tutors. When this idea occurred to him, he came to notice how little he knew about her family life. He knew about her mother having dementia, and Richard; but father? siblings? all that was still a very compelling mystery he wanted to solve. It felt as another stepping stone in the road of deciphering the complex world of Juliet Higgins.

So yes, Juliet was a woman; yes, she had great taste, and yes, he could entrust his wardrobe choices to her. As long it didn’t entitle being hauled around the most exclusive shopping zone of Hawaii, to only be manhandled by sales reps and one focused, Juliet Higgins.

_«If we are going undercover, Magnum; we need to sell the part. »_ She was right, of course; he has yet to find a moment when Higgy is not, at least, partially right. _«And if you are going to be my dirty little secret you have to have some class. »_

He wondered what that even meant. She said had the perfect cover story, one she used before during her MI6 times. The dark tone in her voice caused him to refrain from asking, but she reassured him that, the moment the manager, Jacob Blackstock, saw the profile and references, there was no way in hell he would deny them the invitation. He had yet to discover what that exactly meant; just like he had yet to discover where in the world Juliet got herself an _Amex Black Card, a Visa White_ and a _MasterCard Gold_ ; but she was going her way into spending like there was no tomorrow, and he felt like a child being mothered around a mall by his, except this was his really demanding and really beautiful partner who was definitely high on something. The frantic energy and her more-than-normal acerbic personality were starting to make him nervous and worry.

“Hey, Higgy.” He was struggling with the three hundred bags but still was able to pick up her pace. “Are you okay?”

“I’m quite well, Magnum.” The crisp tone was flatter than always. Her skin, which usually had a tint of gold was pale, dark circles rounded her eyes which were a colour he rarely seen in her kaleidoscopic eyes; it was blue, deep blue. He’s seen brown, and hazel and green plenty of time, but blue? He saw it once, she almost killed two people and was willing to torture another the last time he saw it. “Thanks for asking.”

“You don’t seem well,” said dumping the fifteen plus bags in the back of the Range Rover. She turned on her heels when the _thump_ was heard; she looked at him and then at the bags.

“You _won’t be_ if something is broken or wrinkled.”

He shut up after that, she was really scary and he wouldn’t want to push her; he knew when she was up to pushing, and _that_ was not one of the moments.

“Whatever you say, Mata Hari.”

Creased eyes and frowned brows, she looked at him through the windows, her stare was piercing and the tint of her iris was strikingly pale, cold. A shiver ran down her spine and the hairs in his neck stood; he was scared because this was not Juliet, not Higgy, it was someone else. Someone he only saw once, and knew existed but would never want to be on the bad side of, he might as well be dead if ever crossed her like that. He always was scared _for_ her, not _because of her_ ; and that was what nailed the situation for him, the fact he was scared of her made him realize that something was deeply wrong. He knew Juliet would never hurt him, or someone immediately close to them, but they did work around other people, which made the situation volatile and much more terrifying. He wasn’t going to push, but would not let go of it either.

“I don’t know what’s happening to you, and I know you value your privacy above all,” her hands clenched in the steering wheel, knuckles white, her body looked eerily similar to a coil ready to snap. “But I’m scared—” she was still quiet, but the tension in the car was palpable, he could cut through it with paper, “of _you._ ”

Her focus faltered, slamming the breaks, they ended up in the middle of the street, a few feet away from the exit which would take them to Robin’s nest. “I’ll never hurt you.”

“I know.”

“I’ll never hurt our friends either.”

“I know. But I’ve seen you like this, it was not pretty. Or safe.” Her reaction was a nod, brief and assertive.

“I’m fine.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

They didn’t talk for the rest of the day. She wasn’t fine.

**V.**

She was _seething_ and her anger was _visible,_ clawing barely under the surface, breaking the skin, and _he noticed._ He was scared of her, as he should be; _she was dangerous,_ poisonous and would, in no time, hurt him and all those that surrounded her if she didn’t get the red blaze burning within in the tight control she gained all those years ago, «eighteen _, but who was counting? »_ She needed the focus and control to affront the situation she was in with her father because until he wasn’t far away, preferably back in London and with no desire of interacting with her the necessary amount, her ohana would not be safe.

She found herself rearranging her schedule for longer sessions of yoga accompanied by Tai Chi in the early morning of Thursdays and Saturdays, and training at the gym in her Arnis and Silat techniques late in the night. The need for a way to reign in her anger only had two solutions, and the first consisted in beating someone to hell and back; worked many times in the past because everyone knew she was a savage, an _animal, the rough wolf_ , but Thomas? Kumu? The guys? _They knew nothing of that Juliet,_ and it would stay that way.

Her stare contest with the glass of brandy sweating away in the coffee table was broken when her phone rang, it was a private number.

“This is Juliet Higgins speaking.”

_“Lady Higgins, this is Jacob Blackstock from the Hedone Club, I’ve heard wonderful things about you and I was hoping you could give me a moment of your time.”_

“Mr Blackstock, please, call me Juliet; I think we are going to be fairly close from here on.”

**VI**

“I can’t believe you chose my clothes, I’m not that hopeless.” Magnum had quite the ability for _whining;_ it was like a small child, in reality. The truthful definition of an ankle biter.

“You can’t make tie knot to save your life and have the same Hawaiian shirt in three different colours,” Magnum scoffed, shocking his head, “and I’ll bet my life savings that you only own _two_ pairs of Bermuda shorts and _one_ pair of cargo pants.”

“I’m wearing baby blue, Higgy. _Baby blue!_ ” The Prada blazer was a slim fit, perfect for him.

“I think you look rather sharp.” Juliet dismissed, T.C smirked, she could see his fond smile through the rear-view mirror, she smiled back.

He huffed, like a petulant child he chose to look outside through the tinted window of the Mulsanne. Of course, he wouldn’t accept to wear something as _outrageous_ as a _baby blue_ blazer because it didn’t favour his skin tone, yet again, _he looked good;_ rather handsome, she realized.

“Come on T,” Their friend joked good-heartedly, “you can rock whatever, _even_ if it is baby blue.”

He kept pouting all the way to the hotel while Juliet and T.C chatted quietly over the pilot’s desire to acquire a new helicopter, something bigger and much more comfortable, for _«valuation sake»_ he explained, she agreed. It was a fine investment, and she could see the business value on it. She had _ideas_ on that and filed such in her long to-do list, she descended of the car with the kind help of Thomas who was looking every part of the retired, successful, and divorced vascular surgeon Tomas Caballé. She was the back sheep heiress of a multibillion-dollar noble family, which was not a lie, technically, but she wasn’t the sole heir.

“Thanks, darling.” The sickly-sweet smile Magnum gave her from behind his aviator shades made her want to roll her eyes.

“You are much welcome dear.” His arm snaked around her waist pulling her closer, his soft lips connected with her cheek and she _shivered._ Taking a step back, he smirked victoriously. “Are you alright, babe?”

_Babe,_ he knew damn well she hated the bloody moniker. “You wrinkle my dress, love; this is a three-thousand-dollar dress,” his smile froze, “keep it up and you’ll pay for a new one.”

“ _It’s a wrinkle,_ honey, not a gunshot hole.”

He tugged her waist to pull her closer to him, again, while they walked inside. The bellboy was trying to keep up with all the luggage.

“Keep that up and I’ll break your arm.” Warned Juliet through clenched teeth.

“Keep that up and I’ll…”

“Lady Higgins!” The call for the blonde’s name made both of them stop the bickering and make themselves amenable to the next minutes, this was the decisive moment in which they established their covers.

Jacob Blackstock was not a tall man, he was pretty much Higgins’ height; with slim shoulders and nose like a hook, his airbrush shiny hair reflected the light from the sun like a mirror. The smell of cologne and leather was not the most pleasant on him, and Juliet’s stomach churned. His cheekbones were high, unnaturally so, while his plump lips were distracting, so much that Magnum kept staring at his rosy lips, she wasn’t sure she could keep her eyes up in the general direction of his face or she would end up staring at him too. « _She had much more control than Thomas, »_ tried and failed to convince herself when the man went on speaking.

“It’s an honour to have you among our community. I’ve heard wonderful things about you.” He went to grab her extended hand with his lanky fingers; the sensation of his lips in her hand was _disconcerting._ Her brain was short-circuiting at it, she didn’t know if it was the contact with another person she didn’t know or the wet and cushy feeling; it was probably both, she decided.

Looking for help in her partner after the greeting prolonged for too much time, she found Magnum _snickering_ at her predicament. She went for a threatening look, but it was innocuous, apparently, the entertaining situation was much so than her glares. _«Very well, »_ decided.

“Mr Blackstock, of course, pleased make your acquaintances, did I introduce you to my companion for this weekend, Dr Tomas Caballé.” Mr Blackstock’s smile widened as his attention shifted to Magnum, who was now looking miserably at the man’s enthusiastic handshaking.

After the greeting, Blackstock started a rant on their community and how tight they were, the exclusivity of it all and how the building was designed to fit every client in their ‘ _needs_ and _wants’,_ his words. The place was a rather beautiful compound in a location in the outskirts of the city, in a private state, not as grand in size as Robin’s Nest, but again, which was. He spoke highly of the security team run by Gilbert Ford, a retired Green Beret and ex-Delta Force; she filed the information, and while she strung Blackstock along, Magnum seized the place.

“Tell me, Juliet; is Holbrook Hall as grand as everyone seems to think it is?” She tensed at the question, not only because Magnum was there, but because Holbrook Hall was a privately-owned estate and hasn’t held guests other than Higgins blood in over seventy years, the last time was on VE day when her great grandpapa threw a grand party. No one other than loyal employees have seen the inside of Holbrook Hall, it was a sanctuary.

“It is.”

“Wonderful.”

“Thoughts on the matter?” Magnum inquired while lounging on the comfortable looking bed. He made himself at ease in it and she admired and envied him a little since he was able to sleep pretty much everywhere, whilst she would toss and turn in a place that it wasn’t her own.

“Blackstock is in it.”

His head tilted in that way that reminded her of Apollo and Zeus, she wondered if he noticed the similarities between each other. “The question he asked.”

He was now staring at the ceiling, no shoes on; she stared at his socks before answering. The pair had cartoons in it, Tom & Jerry, she discerned “Which of the five thousand questions he made?”

“Holbrook Hall.”

His body tuned and rested his head in the hand which was bent to be leaning on his elbow; she was staring at the expanse of the terrain around them from the vantage point in a three-store building, they had a floor for themselves in one of the buildings in the so-called VIP section of the compound.

“What is that anyway, I mean I guess it is part of the cover.”

“It is. Holbrook Hall is one of the biggest, oldest and ominous estates in England; it has been in the owner’s family for over six hundred years.” The explanation brought memories of the time she spent with her grandpapa on the grounds of the state learning all sorts of things like sword fighting, horseback riding, and hunting.

“Why is it so suspicious to ask for such a famous estate then; I mean, people are bound to hear rumours of it, I mean, look at Robin’s Nest.”

“Robin’s Nest is an attraction aside from being a real house. Holbrook hall was one of the ancestral seats of one of England’s most powerful families for three hundred years, the last time Holbrook hall was open to a greater public was at VE day, seventy-four years ago; the day also an original Rembrandt was stolen from the property’s gallery. People know Holbrook hall is a synonym of wealth, which means he knows I have money; which means he looked deeper in me.”

Suspicious eyes were on her now. “How do you know all this?”

“Because it's part of the cover, Magnum, I’ll be a lousy agent if I can't keep up with a lie, and let me assure you, I might be a lot of things, but not a lousy agent.”

“Okay, I trust you.”

“That’s it,” Juliet was taken aback, that was easy, _too easy._ “Not more prodding and nagging?”

“I trust you, Higgy. If you say jump I’ll just ask how high.”

A heavy feeling sat in the pit of her stomach at the confident severance. _He trusted her when he should not._

**VII.**

In hindsight, Jacob Blackstock did make a great suspect, at first anyway.

After three days, two rather uncomfortable situations regarding Magnum, walls and personal space, the case was solved. It was the chief of staff and the head of security. The job has been _complicated,_ which if Juliet thought hard on, wouldn’t be the correct word, but she was not up for analysing everything that happened in the three-day lapsus they were at the Hedone; it was quite the experience, that was what it was. But after three long days isolated from the world, spending so much time with Thomas in what was probably going to be their last job together, Higgins found it hard not to blurt the truth and be done with it. She decided against it because Thomas deserved better, so making the executive decision of talking to him after the job, she appeased her mind to keep going with the task immediately at hand.

But at the moment, drinking from her beer, she realized when surrounded by her closest friend at La Mariana that this was her _after._ This was the moment in which she severed her partnership with the man she silently, _really_ regarded as her best friend, her partner in crime and quite frankly, one of the most stable friendships, ( _if not the only one),_ she ever had. And now, thanks to the man who had a hand in her conception she had to, again, break apart her most meaningful relationship.

_She wanted to drown._

Glancing at her cellphone, noticed the date; exactly seven years ago she lost the most important man in her life. Seven years ago, her brother turned her back on her and walked away.

“Thomas,” he had that smile, the one where his eyes laughed with him. It broke her heart a little bit more. “Can I have a word?”

“Sure thing.”

Walking out, towards the balcony outside, they found themselves being refreshed by Hawaii’s summer breeze; it was warm and smelled like home. It made her decision all the more bittersweet.

“Shoot.”

“I wanted you to know—” she tried so hard to keep herself in check, she told herself she wouldn’t lose control, but he made it hard. “I wanted for you to know that the past months working with you were perhaps the happiest I’ve been in my life.”

His easy posture suddenly was straighter, not leaning on the railing but looking at her with a soberer look than the full of mirth and happiness. “Higgy—”

“No, please, because otherwise, I won’t be brave enough to say all the things I have to say.” Interrupted. Thomas nodded.

“You, the guys, Kumu, Gordon and Shammy are the family I lost when my mother died, and yet again when Iain murdered Richard; you reminded me how it felt not to be alone in the world, and I’m grateful for that. For your partnership, your friendship and even the things of you that drive me absolutely bonkers,” choking the last part, Juliet clenched her jaw at her weakness.

“Higgy if this is about the deportation, me and Robin already found something that—”

“I’m not being deported.” Cut him yet again, “I already found a solution.”

“What! Higgy, that’s amazing.” In the haze of his happiness, Thomas engulfed her in the first hug they ever gave each other. It was warm, and it was _home_ and it _hurt_.

She pushed him away for his complete surprise. “You don’t understand.”

“Higgy, you’re not being deported, that’s more than enough for me; you’re staying, you can keep working with me and that’s more than enough.”

“That’s the thing Magnum, _I can’t_ keep working with you.” It was as if it took him a century to catch up with her words.

Like a whisper, a “what”, left him.

“I had to take on a new job to stay in Hawaii.”

“Is it MI6? Because whatever it is—”

“It’s not MI6, I wish it was, that way it’ll be something I’m familiar with, but is not.” The confusion, _the hurt,_ was written all over his face and she felt like _dying_.

She was staying, yet, a part of her was being shipped back to London, and it was the part that made her the happier, the part that made her feel _complete_.

“What is it then, w-what is this job that you can’t stay with me, _working_ with me.” « _I want to stay with you, »_ she wanted to say, _scream_ ; but she didn’t.

“It’s not the job, it’s how I got it,” his face was pure confusion, terror, “I have to ask for a favour from someone I’d rather not talk about, but let’s say that this person—” she sighted; his hand went to hers and held _hers_. “This _man_ is not someone I trust. I don’t trust him to know about you or any of our friends.”

“Then why did you take it? Why didn't you wait? W-we c-could—” He let go of her only to turn around and punch the wall, his fist dented the wood provoking a sickening crack and she wasn’t sure it was from his hand or the board.

The noise caught the guys inside, who jumped at the ruckus; Rick and then T.C, followed by Gordon and a worrisome Kumu were now looking at them from the entrance.

“Thomas, Higgy, what is it?” T.C questioned, his creased brow was similar to that in Rick’s face.

But there was no answer since Thomas Magnum stormed off of the bar in a hurricane of fury and hurt; he embarked the Ferrari and with a ferocious roar he left a trail of dust and a broken heart behind.

She saw her walk away from the bar and the analogy was not lost on her, since this was him walking out of her life too.

_Three cheers for seven years._


End file.
